There isn’t much to say about Meet the Spartans that you couldn’t figure out by watching the trailer. It aims to be a so-called spoof of 300 but only succeeds at being a commercial for idiocy, with products like Dentyne Ice and Budweiser thrown in for good measure. The filmmaking team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (Date Movie and Epic Movie) can reference various films and television shows better than the entire run of Family Guy. They just fail to make it funny. Read the rest of this entry »

“I didn’t come to rescue Rambo from you. I came here to rescue you from him.” - Trautman (First Blood)

It all started in 1982, when drifter John Rambo, a Vietnam Veteran, traveled to small town America. What began as a search for an old army buddy drastically turned deadly when the Sheriff (played by the immortal Brian Dennehy) decided to pester him. First Blood, easily the only “real” movie of the Rambo franchise, was the name of this picture and one that referred to incident at hand. Rambo was minding his own business, traveling on his way, when the wide-mouthed Sheriff treated him to some unfriendly hospitality. Read the rest of this entry »

The internet has allowed us to succumb to many of man’s curiosities. Any type of pornography you can think of has a website. Want to see someone shoot themselves or throw themselves off of a building? Yes, the internet has that too. How do I personally know this? Well, as Martin Lawrence once stated in Nothing to Lose (1997), I’m a student of human nature. Remember a couple of months ago, a video exploded onto the internet called “2girls1cup”? It’s hard trying to find someone who hasn’t seen that video now. Point is, you can pretty much find whatever floats your boat, in some video form, on some obscure website if you search hard enough. So it was only a matter of time before some cinematic serial killer would figure out a way to capitalize on this amazingly available medium. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Heath Ledger on screen. It was sometime in 1998 or 1999, when 10 Things I Hate About You hit the cinema. The film is somewhat quirky and mildly entertaining but there was something about his role as a youthful rebel that went beyond the typical norm. It was this uniqueness that made him so memorable. No matter what the film is, if Ledger was in it, no doubt you’d remember his character above the rest. Read the rest of this entry »

We may not be too sure if there is even going to be an Oscar show due to the writer’s strike (although the show producers insist there will be). Still, the nominations were announced this morning and unsurprising to anyone, No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood lead the pack with 8 nominations each. Blood also marks the first nomination tossed out at Paul Thomas Anderson for direction. Read the rest of this entry »

Judging a movie like Sydney White for having an unpredictable plot or for making some statement about college we haven’t quite seen before is something that shouldn’t be done. This movie isn’t trying to do any of that. It’s a PG-13 movie aimed at exactly who the rating suggests. Younger teenage girls will probably love this but anyone older or younger than that demographic is going to be pretty bored. Read the rest of this entry »

See this shirt? This is our new tour bus design and he have a couple prototypes lying around our office. So we decided they’d be better suited on one of you. We also have some DVDs to give away too - like a copy Hairspray (2007) and Home Alone (1990). We may even have some Seagal for you.

“But how can I get this dude?” Read the rest of this entry »

Caution: Spoilage Contained Here…

Finally, the hype machine that is the Cloverfield marketing campaign can finally end its reign of terror. After this next weekend, hopefully the trailers will die and the ARGers (Alternate Reality Gamers) will figure out what’s behind the mystery they’ve been spending months of their lives trying to figure out. So what exactly is Cloverfield about? Think Blair Witch meets Godzilla (1954), and since that isn’t the first or last time you’ll see or read that comparison, think of a movie that results in something less profound than either. Read the rest of this entry »

Dane Cook is probably the most recognizable stand-up comic of today. His albums have outsold many musical acts and his HBO special is always checked out at any video store you find yourself in, which is sad as that was his worst show yet. Cook’s earlier works, like the bits that can be found on his first disc, “Harmful if Swallowed,” were way more entertaining. Now, he seems to be trying fuse bits off his own hype, like someone took over his body and just acts like him instead of being. Read the rest of this entry »

Lists like these are usually pretty boring to me, with an interchangeable collection of games littering most year-end assessments.

I think something most “respectable” publications get wrapped up in is making sure they stick to a generally acknowledged list of innovative releases – which is definitely something to be commended. But honestly, I don’t always care how unique the battle system is in Mass Effect, or how many polygons Crysis is pushing. Read the rest of this entry »

The first 15 minutes of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly are beautifully hypnotic yet somehow manage to evoke a squirming feeling rarely felt outside of a good horror film. This segment is from the point-of-view of a character we haven’t met. We’re inside his head and we see what he sees. Doctors are staring at him, asking him question after question, but he can’t answer. A stroke has paralyzed all of his being except for his left eye. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m going to just go ahead and ruin this movie for you. Actually, if you’ve seen a trailer for The Bucket List, you know what to expect. Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) and Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) are going to die before this film ends.

“Hey man, I wanted to see that. Why did you ruin it for me?” Read the rest of this entry »

From Nashville: Hey kids, here’s a list of my personal Top 10 Albums of 2007. Title and Artist should be self explanatory; I put the producer(s) in parentheses. I apologize in advance for not hearing every single release last year but I tried. Some of you will agree with these and some of you won’t. Its okay. Either way, I still wish you a fine, music filled 2008!

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In an unsurprising twist, the Golden Globes decided not to have a show this year, due to the threat of picketing writers and actors who plan on being outside the show. The results will now be provided at a news conference on Sunday. This may actually be somewhat of a good thing - now we don’t have to watch hours of bad jokes in order to see what wins which award. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard not to be a bit biased when it comes to films from filmmakers whose work has affected you a lot more than others. Paul Thomas Anderson is one of those people. Ever since I first laid eyes on Boogie Nights (1997), a film about untraditional family relationships through the tumultuous porn industry, I couldn’t wait to see what was to come. Then, in 1999, Magnolia came out and punched me in the stomach harder than any other film I had ever seen prior. This film was an Altman-esque epic following a group of unloved characters dealing with their pasts during one long Los Angeles day. Now, after a five-year hiatus, Anderson returns with an epic of greater scale. Read the rest of this entry »

These introductory paragraphs before any list of “best of” or “worst of” list always feel redundant. It’s only been a year, do you really need a recap that badly? Here is the Bronsonfive.com list of the Top Ten Best Films of 2007: Read the rest of this entry »