Many months ago, I was waiting in line at a local gas station when I noticed they sold gift cards to bookstores. Interested, I noted my curiosity to the other patrons in the line. “Who comes to a gas station to by gift certificates to book stores?” The toothless fellow behind me (let’s call him Cletis for story sake), aged around 30 years-old, replied, “I have no idea man, I ain’t ever read a book in my entire life.” Puzzled, I asked, “Not even Green Eggs and Ham when you were in school?” He concluded, “No man, I ain’t make it too far in school.”

I would love to tell you that I made that story up but I can’t. It really happened. I even forgot about this incident too, as it happened some time ago, but I was once again reminded of it while watching this film because it appears that there is only one type of children’s story these days. This film continues that tradition.

The Seeker tells the story of 14 year-old Will Stanton (Alexander Ludwig) discovering he is the chosen one in the war between Light and Dark. What makes him so special? The warriors of the Dark constantly appear to him, asking him for something called “the sign.” Obviously, neither Will nor the audience know what said sign is. It shouldn’t be too hard for you to figure out where this going, unless you’re one of the few human beings to never have read a book in your life, like Cletis.

Scribe John Hodge (Trainspotting, The Beach) veers from his traditionally dark, comedic tones and instead aims at family friendliness. Moments of awe, like various scenes in Harry Potter, never come and the film ultimately lacks any sense of humor to keep parents interested (or awake). What was I talking about again? I already lost track.

The film festival circuit may remember the name David L. Cunningham. He was the director responsible for After…(2006), a somewhat horror film about a group of urban explorers heading into the unknown. It wasn’t a spectacularly great film or anything but it had more life in it than this children’s fantasy film. A bit of cave-dwelling, maybe even some Descent-style spelunking, would liven this feature up a bit. But there isn’t any of that. Just pop this movie on right before nap time and you got yourself a successful sleep aide.