Here is a list you’ve probably never seen before. And don’t think this list is some sort of congratulatory fodder for the pedophiles of the world. This list isn’t to celebrate that sort of scum. Instead, it was designed for our appreciation towards some amazing films with plot lines involving such foul play because, let’s face it; this is a subject that has been responsible for some amazing films. So why not celebrate them? After all, what other films give you that “I need to take a shower desperately” feeling after they’re over?

1. Happiness (Todd Solodnz, 1998) - Dylan Baker plays Bill Maplewood, a man who will slip a sleeping pill in the tuna sandwich of a 10 year-old boy. I am sure you can figure out why. Never has pedophilia been so downright disturbing while somehow being simultaneously hilarious.

2. The Woodsman (Nicole Kassell, 2004) - In one of his best performances ever, Kevin Bacon plays a pedophile who returns to his hometown after 12 years in prison. Where does he choose to live? Right next to a school. Talk about icky…

3. Running Scared (Wayne Kramer, 2005) - And speaking of icky, nothing quite tops this Paul Walker spectacular, as it includes an arsenal of pedophile trinkets. When a child runs away from his violent father and seeks shelter in the back of a parked van, he quickly discovers that the owners of said van like ice cream cones, child pornography, and murder. He was better off letting his father get to him.

4. Mystic River (Clint Eastwood, 2003) - This film more or less focuses on the disappearance of a young girl but a side plot involving a pedophile priest is what shapes the events of the rest of the film. Dirty.

5. Sleepers (Barry Levinson, 1996) - Kevin Bacon tackles the job again, only this time it’s in the form of a juvenile detention guard. This film is host to one of the most sphincter-coiling scenes in history. When a young kid asks him, “What do you want?” and he simply replies, “A blow job.”

6. Taxi Driver (Martin Scorsese, 1976) - Robert De Niro plays Travis Bickle, a man who befriends a 12 year-old prostitute (Jodie Foster). Disgusted by her underage sexual antics, he decides to do society a favor. So he gets himself armed and goes on a shooting spree, ridding the streets of New York of a few pimps. Thank you, Travis Bickle.

7. Hard Candy (David Slade, 2005) - Before Ellen Page was wowing people with her smiles in Juno, she played a 14 year-old girl who met a 32 year-old man on the internet who was looking for some young girl love. Castration never looked so beautiful, whether it happened or not.

8. Little Children (Todd Field, 2006) - This film centers on a white suburban neighborhood adapting to life after a convicted child molester moves back home after a stint in jail. All hell breaks lose when he decides to take a snorkel in the neighborhood pool to check out the bottom halves of a group of children.

9. Bad Lieutenant (Abel Ferrara, 1992) - Not so much about a pedophile but watching Harvey Keitel’s character masturbate in front of some underage girls he just pulled over, you can’t help but cover your eyes in disgust.

10. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (John Hughes, 1986) - We know, we know. This movie has nothing to do with child molesters… or does it? Jeffrey Jones plays Ed Rooney, Ferris’ strict principal, who does everything he can to find out where Ferris really is. He even breaks into the kids house… principals this strict simply don’t exist. Based on Jeffrey Jones’ brush with the law, which involved some child pornography, we’re pretty sure he wanted to give Ferris some of his own discipline. What other purpose would his pedophile mustache serve?

So there you have it. Think we left out a film or two? Leave your comments and tell us which other films deserve to be on this list.

Thanks to James Gregory for assisting with this list.