It was only a matter of time before the sports genre got its own spoof. The good news is that this movie is better than other of its ilk - like Epic Movie or Date Movie - but that really isn’t saying all that much. In fact, it’s not saying anything at all. An aborted fetus could make a better film than all three of these flicks combined. But the real shame of The Comebacks isn’t the quality of writing or filmmaking; instead, the dread lies with its main star, David Koechner. Someone finally awarded him a much-deserved starring role. Unfortunately for the film community, none of his true talents shine here and his charm can’t help save this picture.

Koechner stars as Coach, a man who fails at coaching basically every televised sport ever, who must shape a college football team into greatness. If he can’t aid this team to the South-Southwest Conference Championship (also called the “2nd Annual Toilet Bowl”), he will never coach anything ever again. What a shame that would be.

The film strives hard to reference every sport film ever made and does a somewhat tolerable job of it. Director Tom Brady and his team of 6 writers failed, like many other spoof filmmakers, to understand that simply referencing a film does not produce laughter. This movie isn’t a comment on how predictable the genre is or how repetitive it is. Instead, it tries harder to create pointless slapstick shtick full of bodily fluids and homosexual stereotypes.

Carl Weathers (of Rambo and Predator fame) also co-stars, along with Matthew Lawrence (brother of Joey or Joseph) and Nick Searcy. With Weathers especially, you wish the filmmakers went after some unknowns instead. Not like Lawrence is particularly likable or anything, or even Searcy is a recognizable name to most, but they are all still better than this movie. David Koechner has created some noteworthy performances (especially his brief role in Thank You for Smoking). The appeal, outside of a check, for him to want to do this picture is simply incomprehensible.

The Comebacks succeeds only in knowing the genre and format. It tackles it all - from Friday Night Lights to Miracle to Remember the Titans to even Dodgeball. You get bits from Rudy and Varsity Blues. If you had the option, you’d probably be doing yourself a favor if you had a marathon of these films instead of subjecting yourself to this one. The jokes you could make during those viewings will no doubt be better than anything demonstrated here. This film shows us a lot of balls but fails to present any of its own.